My Mom Deserves the Praise on This Day (Not Me)

It's that time of year.  Time for me to write up a list, send out invitations, and buy a cake.  Yep, I'm talking about my birthday.  I didn't actually tell anyone because I get uncomfortable when people wish me happy birthday.  I don't know what it is- something about being the center of attention causes me to freeze like a deer in headlights.  It's the same awkwardness that overtakes me when people compliment me, and I almost always answer with "you too!" then uncomfortably walk away like an idiot.

Although only a small handful of people knew it was my special day, and the morning started with three solid hours of New Testament studies, my twentieth was the best birthday of my life.

I spent the afternoon swimming (read: burning on the beach like an albino in the midday July sun) in the Sea of Galilee.  I skyped my parents for the first time in months.  My classmates sang "Happy Birthday" to me in Hebrew.  I played night games at a bonfire on the beach.  I almost ruined my surprise birthday party, and was subsequently delighted by my surprise birthday party (no, but really- I love surprises).  Finally, I ended the night with sparklers on the beach.

I'm 100% freaked out that I'm not any kind of teenager anymore, but 100% excited to welcome in a new decade.

Taylor Swift, In the Making

Last night I crossed #2 off the list- perform live. I figured the JC would be the best place to do this- a captive audience that loves me enough to not make fun of me if I sing terribly. When I saw the sign up sheet for the talent show, I didn't even think about it. I avoid talent shows because compliments make me uncomfortable (I did great? You did great. At being an audience- you clapped in all the right places!), and talent shows are always followed by obligatory compliments that may or may not be sincere.

Nevertheless, my last waking thought the night before auditions was of the song "How Can I Be." More specifically, that it would be a good fit for the talent show. And so I adapted this song for guitar and strummed my little heart out onstage. I know, I know, I'm basically a rockstar. No autographs, please. But you can watch my performance (free of charge, you're very welcome):

I was so nervous, I wrote the lyrics on my wrist... Just in case.  But then I got so wrapped up in checking the lyrics that I forgot the chord progression.  I thought about writing that on my wrist too, but I was running out of legible space.  Bonus points to whoever can figure out where I forgot the words and thanked the heavens above for my paranoid foresight.  All in all, an accomplishment.

Can You Hear Me Now?

The internet at the JC is restricted.  They have blocked Facebook, iTunes, YouTube, Pinterest, Netflix, Hulu, and IMDB.  They discourage us from using Skype and sending photos home through email because it slows the internet.  Luckily, there is a Facebook proxy site (fake Facebook) that we use to get our Facebook fix, or else we'd all be socially damaged by this semester.  But I digress.

The point of all that is to illustrate the limitations on our internet and further highlight the value of unrestricted wifi.  Fortunately, the JC is a mere ten minute walk away from Hebrew University, where there is high speed internet available for free.  Unfortunately, campus is completely closed and shut down Friday afternoon through Saturday evening for Jewish Shabbot.  Even more unfortunate, this was something I didn't discover until Friday afternoon.  After wandering from closed gate to closed gate.  And being rejected by two security guards to be let onto campus.

"Guys, wait... nope, it's gone.
Let's keep going."

But my friends Rachel and David, who were accompanying me, were persistent, and we kept circling around the Hebrew U outer fence.  David held out my iPad and stopped anytime it picked up an internet signal.  Most of them were dead ends, but we had a really good time stopping and starting in the name of decent wifi.  

Finally, we hit gold.  Ironically, it was about one hundred yards away from the start of our circle.  More was the irony when my battery died shortly after loading the new One Direction music video and I ended up taking a nap while David and Rachel uploaded pictures to Facebook.  The signal only worked in certain spots and was better depending on where the user was standing in relation to the stationary computer.

Super fun times.  We thought about sneaking onto campus under a parking lot gate, but that seemed to be a violation of JC rule #3... don't do anything stupid.  And by "we," I mean me.  Thank goodness I have friends who are smarter than I am.

Purim... Israeli Fun!

Ok I just want to start by pointing out how clever my blog post title is.  Purim- isreally fun! Israeli fun!  Get it, get it?  I'm super proud of that, because I thought of it all by myself and I don't want anyone to miss how smart I can be sometimes.

Tonight was the best night of the semester- by far.  Tomorrow is Purim, a Jewish holiday where people get drunk and party.  Definitely my scene.  People get really into it, with costumes and parades and lots of parties.  We were invited to a Purim party hosted by the guy who led the Israeli folk dance class last week.  Sketchy dance party invite from a mid 40s dance teacher?  Heck. Yes.

The real party started in the van.  Our ride was a sketchy white van with tinted windows and blacklights.  Awwwwyeahh.

You know those movies where people dance and everyone knows the moves and dances in partnerships, perfectly in sync?  That happens in real life.  At least here, it does.

Super psyched to get our dance on

We only knew a few of the dances, but it was pretty easy to fake it.  Step ball change, grapevine, spin.  And repeat.  The other party guests were kind enough to lead me through several of the dances.  I think it was more for them than me, because if I didn't know the dance I made up my own moves and got in everyone's way.

In the room just outside the dance floor, there were three tables.  One was covered in masks, hats, wigs, and costume jewelry.  One was covered in candy, cookies, soda, and pastries.  One was covered in various bottles of beer, tequila, and other alcohol.  Guess which one we didn't empty?  The costume table.  Because we arrived in costume.

(Just kidding mom.)

You best believe our stereotypical Mormon selves hit up the refreshment table and emptied it out.  I wasn't even hungry, I was just eating because it was free food.  My friend Kara even snuck a bunch of candies out in her skirt.  Because three square meals each day just isn't cutting it.

Friends, it's official.  Purim is where it's at.  New favorite holiday, for sure.

Seriously, best night of my life.

Shock and Awe

Yes, we sang the IJ theme song
over and over on the walk in

Last week I crossed something off the list.  I went to Jordan (yeah, the country, not the place in Utah) and saw Petra.  Petra, as in the second wonder of the modern world.  I spent the first hour nearly speechless.  I felt like gasping and spinning in circles.  Quite a few of the sites we've seen have been reduced to "piles of rocks" in my memory, and that's what I expected from Petra.  I didn't know what I was getting into until I walked out of the valley and saw the Indiana Jones famous treasury.

And if that wasn't cool enough, the sites became increasingly spectacular as I kept walking.  In America, nothing is older than four or five hundred years.  In Petra, nothing is younger than a thousand years. 

For a wanderer like me, free standing ruins were like a birthday present come early.  They were just open to anyone, free for clambering and exploring.  Obviously I had a blast.

Mom, dad, it's pretend jail.  I promise.

So. Many. Jumping pictures.

Making new friends...

...all sorts of new friends (young and old, human and camel...)

I consider this a successful cross off.  I've never seen anything so beautiful.  It was easy to see the hand of God to the right and left as I walked through and marveled at the landscape and scenery.  When I was up there, I felt like I could accomplish just about anything.  It was incredible, inspiring, and entirely unforgettable.  Am I the luckiest, or what?

Jeru-Co

Today I went shopping with a few friends. Not clothes shopping, not souvenir shopping... grocery shopping. Kind of. My roommates and I were looking for some snack food to prevent death-by-hunger on the Sabbath and after early dinners. So we went to Costco. Jerusalem style.

Just down the road is a market that sells food stuffs in large bulk, hence the kindly inappropriate nickname "Costco." The bulk items is about where the similarities stop. The real Costco is clean, organized, full of helpful employees. Looks a little something like this:

The "Costco" here looks like this:

It's an open warehouse with uneven floors and dirty shelves.  Small children followed us at an uncomfortably close length and local men stared.  In Arab Costco there are no prices- you take the items in question to the counter and ask how much.  The men behind the counter appraise you, glance at the item, and bark out a price.  We're still trying to figure out when and where bartering is appropriate and how the prices are even decided (apparently blonde girls get lower offers).  Everything is already so cheap, it's hard to imagine driving the price down any further.

Basically it was a party.  The best part?  The room that is entirely devoted to Israeli sweets.  Seriously, does it get much better than a multi pack of chocolates for less than three dollars?  I think not.

Note the super fashionable fanny packs and matching lanyards...
I'm pretty sure I'm at EFY on steroids.  

Bartering Pro, Right Here

Last week I made my first big-ticket purchase.  Kind of.  It was a sweatshirt I found in the Old City and I fell in love immediately.

It all happened so fast.  I saw it hanging up on the wall in a dirty alleyway and knew I had to have it.  I wasn't smart enough to play it cool, so the shopkeeper knew that I was going to buy the sweatshirt no matter what.  He wanted 80 shekels for it, but as he was folding it and putting it into a bag, I talked it down to 45 shekels (about 12 dollars), and swore sweet success.  The whole thing probably lasted about 90 seconds, and as I walked away, I realized I wasn't sure who won in our purchase showdown.

Sophomore 15

There is a convenience store at the bottom of the hill that sells an odd assortment of treats and household items.  We were thrilled to find out that there is a shelf full of candy bars that only cost one shekel each.  Currency rate has one shekel equivalent to about $0.25.  

Obviously, we couldn't resist stocking up.

Obviously I had even less resistance than everyone else
(Note the three candy bars in my hand)

So far hazelnut is in EVERYthing, and the people of the Holy Land love their wafer bars and crispy rice.  I was so proud of myself, I managed to barter a little and save a shekel.  One of my friends made fun of me, but with that extra shekel, I can try some new candy.  Maybe a hazelnut wafer bar with some crispy rice in it, if I'm feeling a little crazy.

"Mormons, oh my heck!"

We have finally been released from the JC.  Yesterday we went to the Garden Tomb, one of the proposed locations of the Savior's burial.  Today I got a chance to wander through the markets in the Old City.  It was the funniest experience... never have I been so glad to be a Mormon!

The Mormon kids are well liked and well known.  We are consistently polite, friendly, honest, and most importantly- spendy.  Plus there's a new group of us every four months to buy the same chintzy crap as the last group.  The shopkeepers know all this, and love us for it.

Walking through the markets in the Old City was amazing, because at every shop we were recognized as Mormon and treated very well.  Everyone wanted us to have their business card, everyone wanted us to shop at their stand, and everyone was willing to offer us a special deal.  Us, their dear Mormon friends.

I don't think anyone actually knows what Mormons are or what the term means, but they know it's an identifier.  As we walked by one stand the owner looked at us and asked "Chinese?"  We laughed and kept walking.

"No, seriously."  (Insert a contemplative pause) "Mormon?"  I turned around and nodded my head at him, and he just smiled and said "Ahh, Mormon!"

I've never had so much fun shopping.  We walked approximately seven miles today (thanks to my roommate who would rather map our path than study), shared approximately three sketchy pastries, and visited approximately two thousand shops.  I came home and about collapsed.  I will definitely come home a leaner, meaner, well cultured machine(r) in four months time.  Provo, look out.

You Wanna Bet?

Last night after dinner, my mom told us that in the case of her death, she has a drafted email with passwords, banking information, hopes and fears- the kind of stuff that is important to know.  My first inclination was to break into her email and find out what kind of secret information she keeps.  When I voiced said inclination, she did something very foolish.  She challenged me.

I told her I could be in her email within 90 seconds.  She bet me $100 I wouldn't be able to get in at all.

We both lost last night.  It took me three or four minutes, but I used her security questions and backup email to get in.  After a quick scan through her drafts, I handed the computer over and started bragging.

Much to my delight, I was able to break into the email accounts of four of my family members.  Needless to say, we all tightened up our online security shortly thereafter.  I'm still trying to decide what to do with the money.  You see, I think like a poor college student, and right now, all I"m thinking is how $100 can buy a whole lotta ramen...